


Words Left Unsaid

by lullatone



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, nobody asked for this and i apologize, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 04:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20058115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lullatone/pseuds/lullatone
Summary: They had never set any rules because they weren’t those kind of people. They could read each other so easily, why try and make things more complicated?As if casual sex with your coworker wasn’t complicated enough.





	Words Left Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!!! Soooooo ever since all the flashback episodes and we got to see Chim and Tommys friendship, I've had this headcanon that they hooked up before Tommy left the 118. (This also goes along with my bi chimney headcanon, so bare with me.) ANYWAY, I hope ya'll enjoy this fic, it's just a fun little story that I had a blast writing because it's a little different than what I usually do. Lots of love!

They had never set any rules because they weren’t those kind of people. They could read each other so easily, why try and make things more complicated?

As if casual sex with your coworker wasn’t complicated enough.

-

The first time it happens, Chim and Tommy are out having drinks with some other guys from the 118. They had invited Hen, but she’d had plans with Karen that night. 

They’d always been close. Ever since they became friends, Chimney and Tommy were attached at the hip. On any given day Chim could be found sat next to Tommy and Hen, clearly in awe of the two people he called his best friends. 

Chim isn’t drunk, but he’d never turn down a free ride home, so when Tommy offers, he accepts without hesitation. Chim isn’t sure how he does it, but he finds the bravery somewhere inside of him to invite Tommy inside when they get to his apartment.

“What?” Tommy doesn’t look offended, just shocked. And admittedly, a little curious.

“I said-” Chim places his hand on Tommy’s knee, heat radiating through his palm. “Do you want to come inside with me?” 

Tommy doesn’t need it repeated.

-

When they finally reach the bedroom, they’re done asking questions. 

Tommy’s a great kisser, Chim finds out. He’s strong and attentive and licks into Chimney’s mouth in a way that makes him shiver. When they’re finally on the bed, Tommy straddling him as he takes off his shirt, Chim realizes this is probably the best idea he’s ever had. 

Chim isn’t blind, he knows his friend is handsome. And he isn’t blind to when someone’s flirting with him either. Tommy liked to touch and wink and make innuendos to the point where them having sex was probably inevitable. 

And Tommy likes to talk too. The things he whispers into Chimney’s ear as he’s opening him up are unexpected, but welcome nonetheless.

_ “Fuck, Howie, you’re so gorgeous like this. So hot, and only I get to see it.” _

Chimney would say something back, except he thinks it would just come out as babbling. All he can focus on is making sure that Tommy knows that he keeps condoms in his bedside table because this needs to happen, and it needs to happen _ now_.

When Tommy’s finally inside of him, he can’t seem to get enough air in his lungs, can’t seem to do anything besides blink and try not to explode from how _ damn _ good it feels. Tommy waits above him, watching Chim get adjusted. He looks cute, a little bashful for the first time since they started as he places a kiss on Chim’s chest. 

“You alright there?”

Chim rolls his eyes a little, whacking Tommy’s arm. He tries to be tough, but there’s no malice behind his words. “Yes I’m fine. Now move, you bastard.” 

Tommy just laughs, that stupid flirty laugh that everyone (including Chim) fell for. He obey’s Chimney’s wishes, and after that, there isn’t much more talking. 

-

The next morning, Tommy leaves once he wakes up. He stays the night, no cuddling of course. (Unless you count the arm that Tommy slings over Chimney’s bare chest, just so they can stay close.) It doesn’t upset Chim, since he expected it. One night stands with your best friend didn’t usually end in breakfast and a quickie in the shower. 

Except one night becomes more nights, which is probably what causes the whole thing to crash and burn. 

-

Each time they go out for drinks, they sleep together. It becomes a pattern, an easy enough one to spot if you’re really paying attention. 

Hen certainly notices, grilling Chim about it the next time they’re out having lunch together.

“We’re just keeping it casual. It’s not a big deal.”

Hen snorts, giving her partner an incredulous look.

“Casual? You, Mr. ‘Does Everything With His Whole Heart’ and the man who’s basically a golden retriever puppy with muscles are gonna be able to keep things _ casual_?”

“Jeeze Hen, have some faith.” 

Hen sighs, laying her hand on his arm.

“I just don’t want you getting hurt. That’s all.” 

-

It’s a few nights later, Chim straddling Tommy on the bed, his plush comforter cushioning them both. 

He leans down, hands coming up to cup Tommy’s face softly. Tommy sighs into Chim’s mouth in response, one hand going to Chim’s hip and the other rising up to grab his hand. He links their hands together, and that’s when Chim feels it. The telltale tug on his heart, the warm feeling inside of him that he always got whenever he really liked someone.

When he _ loved _someone.

He freezes for a moment, and Tommy notices, tilting his head in concern. 

“Howie? You okay?”

Chim tamps the feeling down, chalks it up to an adrenaline filled day out in the field. Tommy is still talking to him, but he misses most of it.

“-and we can always stop if you want. Just throw on a movie or something.” 

Chim lets out a long breath, smiling at the man below him. He rolls his hips, his smile widening even more when Tommy shudders. 

Chim leans down, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“Yeah. Or something.” 

-

The feeling in his heart returns again later that night, but Chim ignores it.

-

They’re showing off battle scars, Chimney proud to have none of his own to flaunt at the table. 

Tommy on the other hand always loved to show off his scar, a half ring of red tissue on his right pec traveling downward. Chim always thought it looked a little bit like flowers, tiny daisies blooming onto the skin. 

He knows that he’s staring as Tommy shows off the scar to Bobby, but he’s far too pleasantly drunk to give a shit. He wants to run his hands up and down Tommy’s chest, feeling the roughness of his scar, kiss it for all it’s worth.

Tommy gives him a quick look, and it makes Chim blush. An unspoken promise at what’s to follow later back at his place, underneath the covers in Tommy’s tiny bedroom. 

Their captain leaves abruptly, leaving just the three of them to their own devices. They all share another shot before calling it a night.

They get a car back to Tommy’s place, and the sex is clumsy and hurried but Chim still gets his wish, placing kisses all over Tommy’s scar. Just like he thought it would, it makes his heart flare in his chest, his ribs ache with a want that he knows is dangerous, that isn’t a part of the feelings for someone you’re supposed to be casually sharing a bed with. 

-

It’d been a long time since Chim lost someone, but it never gets any easier.

A car accident that was a lot worse than they originally thought. The man in the front seat of the first car had too many internal injuries, too many things Chim couldn’t fix before they got to the hospital. 

Chim’s curled up on his couch at home that night, tv playing with the sound muted. He mostly had it on so he wouldn’t feel so alone.

When Tommy knocks on his door 10 minutes later, Chim almost tells him to go home, that he’s not in the mood. 

Tommy simply holds up the six pack of beer he bought at the corner store.

“You need some company?” 

Chim just nods, leading Tommy to the couch. He plops down into the corner, watching as Tommy pops the caps off of two beers. He hands one to Chim who eagerly accepts it. 

Chimney ignores the feeling in his gut when they’re fingers brush together against the bottle. 

Tommy takes a seat next to him, about an arms length away. He doesn’t want to crowd Chim, doesn’t want to overwhelm him further as they silently sip their beers. 

Except Tommy hates silence, hates not being able to suss out what’s wrong. He takes a deep breath, glancing over at Chim.

“Are...are you okay?”

Chimney opens his mouth to respond, but he can’t. Instead he sucks in a watery breath, and the tears start to come. His chest starts to shake, and Tommy reaches over, grabbing the bottle out of his hand and setting it on the coffee table in front of them. 

Chim doesn’t protest when he finds himself being taken into his arms, his face getting pushed into Tommy’s chest as he arranges them comfortably on the sofa. The tears keep coming, and there’s no way that Tommy’s shirt isn’t soaked. He simply rubs Chim’s back, his warm hands soothing as Chim fights to compose himself. 

Even after he stops crying, Tommy doesn’t let go. Neither of them do.

They fall asleep that way.

-

Chimney knows it’s not supposed to hurt this much. That he should be happy for his friend and his transfer to a place that needs him, a spot on the 217 doing crash rescue. It’s important work, work that Tommy was so excited to be doing. 

So why isn’t Chim happy for him?

He’s watching his friend eat cake with the rest of the firehouse, and he feels miserable. He’s hiding it as best he can, but there’s a pit in the bottom of his stomach that makes him feel like shit. 

He can hear the voice in the back of his head, telling him '_I told you so', _ telling him that, '_of course this hurts, you’re in love with him’. _

_ ‘You’re in love with a guy who’s leaving tomorrow, and there’s nothing you can do about it.’ _

Chim decides that the voice in his head needs to shut the hell up.

-

They get together for the last time that night. They’re at Chim’s place, and he’s pulling Tommy’s shirt off with such urgency that it’s a little troubling. Troubling enough that Tommy puts a hand on his arm, his gaze soft.

“Hey there, what’s the rush?” 

Chim tries to ignore him, leaning back in for another kiss that Tommy dodges. 

“Come on, Howie, seriously. What’s wrong?” Chim sighs, allowing himself to lean forward, resting his forehead on Tommy’s chest. He doesn’t want Tommy to see the way his face looks, to see the sadness in his eyes. 

“You...you’re leaving. You’re leaving us.” 

“That doesn’t mean I won’t see you guys anymore. We can all still go out.”

Chim knows that’s a lie, and Tommy knows it too. He’s moving across town, and they both know that your firehouse is your family. You don’t have much time for anything else.

Tommy’s grabs Chim’s hand, taking it in his. He links their fingers together, and with the other he tilts Chim’s chin up to look at him. The look of adoration in Tommy’s eyes knocks the wind out of Chimney, but he doesn’t let it show.

Or, at least he thinks he doesn’t. 

“If it’s my last night, then let’s make it a good one, okay?” 

And then Tommy is leaning down and kissing him, and _ kissing _ him, and making Chimney forget about everything else.

-

They're rocking together,Tommy’s face buried into Chim’s neck as he leaves marks and it’s too much and not enough. Chim takes one of his hands off of Tommy’s shoulder, bringing it to his face so he can bring him in for a kiss. It’s searing in every way possible, it burns them both up from the inside out. When they let go for air, Tommy rests his forehead against Chim’s, their breath hot against each others face. 

“Tommy, I...I-”

“I know.” 

He knows. Tommy knows, and Chimney knows, and they both know what this is but can’t say it, _won’t _ say it. Because if they said it, then it would all be over. The wall that they had built up the past few months, the idea that they didn’t feel that way. The curtain would fall, and nobody wants to be the one to ruin the illusion. 

-

Later in the night, Tommy wraps Chim up tight, his back pressed against his chest. They lay there, pressed tightly against one another, hand in hand. Tommy presses a kiss to the back of Chim’s neck, and it says everything that he can’t. It’s soft, it’s tender, it’s loving. 

Chim doesn’t want to fall asleep, doesn’t want the moment to end. Except he’s only human, and he drifts off while Tommy is drawing circles on his arm with his finger. 

-

The next morning, Tommy is gone. 

Chim feels it all at once. The sadness, the guilt, the frustration. That he’s lost a friend, that he let himself get hurt like this, that maybe if this hadn’t started between them Tommy never would’ve transferred. It’s a ridiculous idea, and he realizes that, but he can’t help it.

Love makes you think crazy things.

Love that's never spoken? Now that's a whole other story. 


End file.
